hurt feelings

I have a friend, well I guess she used to be my friend. We used to run, talk, shop, hang out, tell eachother secrets, ask for advice, invite eachother over for shit. Now ever since she has had her son....I get nothing. I have 2 kids and so I get that people get busy but really? I offered to watch her son free of charge if she had to work a couple days a week. But she hasn't asked me at all and then I find out today that her sister in law (who she hates) is watching her son every fucking friday. I mean what the freak is going on. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I am the bitch. I don't know and I just don't get how I am always the one feeling hurt! How does this always happen? Whatever, I just want others to be invested in my life as I am invested in theirs. I want to have friends that surround our family so my children can see how normal that is. Whatever maybe I am just painting a picture that will never be. I painted a nice picture for my parents and they will never become what I want them to become which is just less chaotic and to call if they are going to be late. I am really upset right now that out of the people my friend had to choose from she decided to pick her sister in law that she hates over me. I guess I am just that bad. What the fuck ever....I keep telling myself that she has just made my life that much easier by not taking up a whole day!!!! Think of all the freedom I will have but it still hurts.

Stole but for good reason

Okay so I am a bad person....I embezzled money from my parents. That's right I did it. I did it maliciously and with intent. I was so angry at them for being such failures and while I was setting them up for success and trying really really hard to do the right things.....they were complete assholes. Never saying thank you and making rude ass comments about my life and my choices. So one day I just said FUCK THEM! I started using my moms bank card number to give myself credits at a store that I love and complete projects that I never thought I would. Then I started to get greedy and damn if my mom didn't find out. But the funny thing is, I didn't use their money for myself....I bought other people stuff. Oh well. My whole family is a bunch of wierdos anyways! Nothing good comes from them being in my life so if they want to disown me I could care less. I mean really the hoarder and the alcoholic who have a son married to a crack addict who lost custody of 4 kids.....I'm gonna take whatever they say with a grain of salt.

sick and tired

I am just so sick and tired of being my parents parent.... I do their money, offer financial advice, marital advice, show them how to have happy holidays and not such chaotic ones. I don't know I am just sick and tired. I hate that my mom is so mean. She doesn't mean to be but she is. She is a hoarder and makes it like its all of MY stuff or my brothers STUFF that is why she can't do certain things. I am so pissed off right now. She is so condecending and rude!!! She puts her nose up at how much my husband makes...saying we should be able to afford so much more. Well my husband makes alot of money and we choose to save it and spend it cautiously. We live in a little house and make sacrifices so that I may stay at home and we may go on vacations. I don't know if she is bitter or jealous or what....but the passive aggressive comments I am about done with. She even called me this morning asking me how much grandma gave me for xmas. I lied and told her a lesser amount. She would just be mad and say "must be nice...we never got anything like that". Aren't you supposed to be proud and happy for your children??? Aren't you supposed to feel joy and excitement when good things happen to them? I don't know this whole thing has got me all twisted up inside cause i just want her to be happy......and to not let her misery pull me down. I get it...I am stuck up. I am stuck up in a way that I don't keep useless people in my life. I believe that I deserve more and I don't care what anyone else thinks of that. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to have friends that are ambitious, goal oriented, and are non losers. My circle of friends all have jobs (whether it be a paying job or one of taking care of their children), non do drugs, non have been in jail, I mean come on.....so I am a bitch if I don't let people in my life who I deam losers! I expect more from myself and from the people around me!!! Fuck her....I am so sick of misery loving company. She will get a huge check after my father dies and fucking blow it! I have pleaded with her to spend a little bit of money and speak to a financial advisor. That has been ignored repeatedly. So I know that she is setting herself up to fail. She is going to blow that money and come tax time she is going to cry to me saying "I didn't know you had to pay taxes". Good god my family is just so dumb. But hey their dumbness allowed me to realize "I do not want to be like that so I will make different decisions". I guess I should thank them for being such train wrecks!!!!lol

Testing this out

This website is going to be dedicated to keeping our friends and family updated on my father's progress. Please check back every so often since I will be updated this as much as I can. My mother and father both have so much to deal with right now and I know you all only care and want to express your concern and love....but please do so with a comment or an email. They are both having to be on the phone for hours right now trying to get all paperwork, name transfers, insurance, blah blah blah....I'm sure you can imagine. Also my father is having major difficulty talking since one of the tumors is pressing on his vocal cords and has paralyzed it. This makes it harder and harder for him to talk for long periods of time. If you pray then pray for strength, patience and a making of peace for both of my parents. We all know that they are good people and deserve to enjoy eachother. Again I will keep this as up to date as I can. Until the next time:)